Dear Birthmom,
While we know how much our hearts long for a child, our hearts also ache for you and for what you must be going through as you make the decision not to parent your child yourself. We are very clear that you have a lot of courage and love in you, in order to make the decision to allow someone else to parent your child -- to allow someone else to give to your child everything you wish you could give. We know how important it is for you to feel good about the couple you choose to adopt your child. Whether you choose us or another couple, we want to thank you for your courage, your commitment to life and to your child, and for making the decision that you feel is in the best interests of your child.
We believe that everything happens for a purpose in this life, and we feel strongly, too, that the relationships and connections we form with people aren’t by chance. It’s with keeping this in mind that we say hello to you and invite you to consider us to be the people who raise the child now growing in you. We’re Linda and Jason, a very loving couple, married 12½ years, who would very much like to raise your child to be a healthy, whole, and loving person.
Adoption Is Not New To Us: Although we have no children yet, adoption is not new to us or to our family. Linda wanted to adopt two children ever since she was a little girl. Jason’s cousin has two adopted children and Jason’s sister is married to a man who was adopted as a baby.
About Our Marriage: We’re blessed with a very nurturing and healthy marriage, filled with warmth and love, expressed not only in words but in actions. We communicate with each other with love, kindness, respect and honesty, and believe it crucial to treat a child the same way. We are best friends and also deeply in love. We love to laugh together and we delight in children.
About Our Spirituality: We have a very firm faith in God, and trust that God is guiding this process -- leading you to us, and us to you. We practice, through prayer and meditation, trying to become all we believe God wants us to be. We try to live in a way that reflects the spiritual values we hold dear: to be caring, loving, kind, generous, and forgiving. These are the values that we believe are at the central core of all religious traditions. We look forward to sharing our nightly ritual of praying together with our child and helping our child to develop his or her own personal relationship with God. We believe that the central message of all paths to God is love.
Special Times with Our Child: Another nightly activity we plan to share with our child was started by Jason’s dad, when Jason was a little boy. Each night, Jason’s dad would sing special songs he’d make up about Jason’s toys, his special cowboy wallpaper, and little cowboy Jason. These are some of the cherished memories and special times we look forward to passing on to our little child.
What We Learned From Our Parents: We also know that a child’s life is filled with all kinds of things, not only happy times, and that it is the way the parents respond that can make all the difference. Linda remembers losing her first school spelling bee because she was so nervous -- but what stands out for her is not losing; it’s how loved and supported she felt by her dad when he
came home that day with a gift for her -- a brand new watch. He believed in her, no matter what. That’s the kind of love we plan to give to our child.
A Love of Learning: We believe in helping a child to be all that he or she can be -- supporting their interests in life (not molding them to fit our pictures), providing them with an education that inspires a love of learning and incorporates creativity and play as part of the learning process. We have found the perfect school for our child’s early education: they teach the alphabet through dance, song, and play!
What We Love to Do: We love to be outdoors -- and have been imagining ourselves carrying our child on our back in one of those baby carriers as we hike in the redwoods, along ocean trails, and on trips to nature spots. Jason loves to go snorkeling and looks forward, later on, to introducing our child to all the beautiful, colorful fish! Indoors, you can often find us doing one of our other favorite things -- reading together and to each other (Jason loves mysteries and these days we're both immersed in baby books!). Jason is also a great teacher and looks forward to sharing his love of computers with our child. Jason and our nephew Justin love to play computer games together -- Justin always wins!
Fun in the Kitchen: Cooking with organic foods and in healthy ways is now one of Linda’s greatest indoor sources of relaxation, fun, and creativity. Jason makes great muffins from scratch, and we’re a great cooking team in the kitchen together. We love to cook holiday dinners for our family and friends and are eager to share these special times with our little child. Our holiday gatherings are always a special time for us as we come together to celebrate and appreciate the love and support we share.
Where We Live: We live in Hercules, California, a suburb about 15 minutes from Berkeley, near San Francisco. It’s a lovely place to raise a child, lots of parks and nature trails, some within walking distance of the home we own. There are many children on our street to play with, and we look forward to visits to the park and the nearby ocean, walks in nature, visits to the local Marine World, and just sharing life together. We like that our street is a safe place -- it gets no traffic because it’s not a through-street. We have a lovely, small green hill right next to our house that all the children in the neighborhood love to roll and run down, giggling all the way.
Stay-At-Home Parents: Because we run our own business -- and much of it from home -- we set our own schedules. Jason will be taking off at least two weeks from work after the baby is born, and Linda plans to take as much time off as is necessary to make sure our baby is comfortable and secure in their new world. We work at home 3 days a week now and plan to arrange our away-from-home office time so that one of us is always with our baby, rather than having to put her or him in child-care.
Our Work Is Healing: Our away-from-home office is in Berkeley, just 15 minutes from our home, where we share being co-directors and counselors at our counseling center, the Center for Creative Growth, which is affiliated with John Bradshaw, a leader in the field against child abuse.
We love our work and love that we work together! We consider it an incredible privilege to help others on their journey of healing, and have had our therapy clients and staff tell us through the years what wonderful parents we would make.
People Tell Us We Already Make Great Parents!: Recently, as we’ve been sharing the news of our plans to adopt, our counseling clients have been saying how they wish they had had parents like us! Here's some of their written comments about the qualities they value in us: Jason’s clients say, “He is absolutely one of the most skillful, compassionate therapists I have ever seen...I felt seen, valued, respected, and very supported by him...he was always kind, gentle, firm, and loving.” A teen who worked with Linda says, “Thank you for always making me feel special, important, and valid. You have always treated me like an adult and listened to me lovingly. I’m glad you came into my and my mom’s lives.” Another of Linda’s counseling clients says, “You were a teacher to me...you taught me basics upon which to structure the rest of my life...I love the gentle, feminine strength in you.”
We know that the love, nurturance, and understanding that we have given to our clients have prepared us well to be the kind of parents you would be proud of for your child.
The Kids in Our Lives: We’re godparents to our two nephews, Justin and Rylan (9 and 2½), as well as to our good friend, Debbie’s, 12-year old son, Taylor. We enjoy getting together with the children, attending soccer, baseball, and basketball games, swim meets, school plays, taking them to the movies, playing ping-pong and board games, visiting at their homes, and hearing about their lives. We love going to children's museums, aquariums, and petting zoos with the kids in our lives -- especially seeing their expressions at the different "hands-on" exhibits. We got the thrill of being the first ones to take each of our godsons to see the whales at Marine World and delighted in their wonder and amazement as they saw these huge creatures leap out of the water and drench everybody in the first few rows!
Our Devotion to Children, Teens and Families: Linda's career began as a nursery school teacher and therapist working with young children and teens. She began working with couples and families as a whole unit when she saw how necessary it was to help the parents if she was truly going to be able to help the children.
Jason spent the first 13 years of his career as a counselor working with teens and their families, helping teens to become drug and alcohol-free and supporting them in developing new friendships and healthier relationships with their families and friends. He now runs therapy groups for men and for men and women, and works with couples and families, helping people to heal the wounds of their childhood, so they can be all they are meant to be.
Our Friends and Relatives are Thrilled!: Your baby will be blessed with the love of four grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and a loving circle of friends who all want to be called “aunt” and “uncle.” We feel blessed that our family and friends are filled with joy and excitement about our decision to adopt. They look forward to not only welcoming our child, but you, as well.
Our Ongoing Contact with You: Linda’s sister asked that we give you the following message: “Tell her I’m so excited to meet her, to have her be part of the family.” We feel the same way. We know our lives will be enriched beyond measure when our child joins our lives, and we feel excited that you, and hopefully your family, will become part of our extended family and an ongoing source of love and support for the child who is coming to earth through you. While we're very open to having an ongoing relationship with you over the years, we also will respect your needs and wishes regarding what kind of contact (letters, exchanging photos, visits, etc.) and frequency feels best for you, too. Our wish is to create an adoption which works best for everyone.
Here's How To Reach Us: Thanks for reading about us. Please call us at home toll-free at 1-800-785-6444 so we can talk further! Or, if you'd like, you can call our adoption counselor at the Independent Adoption Agency at 1-800-877-OPEN. We very much look forward to talking with you.
With our best wishes,
Jason & Linda
